It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
