you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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