I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
