Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
