At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
