i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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