Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
