so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
