my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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