Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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