I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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