i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
