My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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