Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
