piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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