I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
