is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
