I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
