That's when you crack a 10am beer
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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