the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
