okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
