I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
