Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
