what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
