Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize
