You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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