This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
