Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
