it was like eating out sand paper
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
