you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
