Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
