i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
