i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
