M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
