Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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