Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
