My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
