If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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