Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
