You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Someone came in the potted fern
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
