had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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