ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
