You're completely useless in the revolution.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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