so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
