finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
