Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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