ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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