Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
