well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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