he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
