Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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